Equality, it’s a concept I am sure most people my age and probably younger find strange, not because it doesn’t exist, but because it does. I grew up in an era that didn’t really have any struggles for womens rights, except of course in the workplace.

Personally, I hadn’t ever really had to deal with this, a low level job in Local Government didn’t really come with many opportunities regardless of my sex, so I just got on with it. Over the years I went from being a Clerical Assistant to supporting the Team Leader in their work and eventually over say the past 4 years, taking on a part of that work and a role that has evolved completely and still I didn’t have issues with equalities. But that was with me focusing on being a female…
Ageism works both ways, from the Senior Manager who once too often called me ‘Young Lady’ while never once referring to my Admin Assistant, seven years my junior, as Young Man, to what appears to currently be a completed and utter lack of respect for my abilities. Not to mention the Team Leader who refers to us as ‘the children’. I can only base this on the age factor, in the situation (details of which I won’t go into) I am being patronized and treated like a child, given a chaperone to attend something outside of my office and generally made to feel like utter crap.
This is not based on me having proven a lack of ability, something I have email and written proof of, only last week I was put forward for ‘incentives’ based on the level of work I have been doing.
So why? I think it harks back to me being Younger, not Young, who at a year from thirty would really consider themselves Young anymore? But because Managers are ‘an old boys club’ I am consistently treated like a child.
So I decided on the day they want to baby me, that I might just pop my hair in high pigtails, shove a onesie on and suck a dummy, I mean in their eyes its how I am so clearly seen…

FYI – I grew up when I was about 16, ask anyone who knows me, in fact, I am more mentally mature than most of the ‘grown ups’ around me.


It’s not Fifty Shades of Grey…its still a book to read…

Ok, I conned you into coming here, you saw the hashtag that’s been bringing people to my blog steadily since earlier this year, the hashtag that made you maybe a bit hot under the collar…Fifty Shades of Grey…

But here you are, and I’d like to tell you that there are other books, there are other fictional men to fall in love with, they may not be BDSM loving billionaires with red rooms of pain, but I can tell you about a Music loving millionaire with a head of hair so sexy that your inner goddess will be dancing on the spot to stop you thinking about him…

Before Christian Grey, there was Abner Hagarth-Smythe, born into money, due to inherit it, he runs from the life he isn’t sure of and into the arms of an ordinary girl…He’s six foot two, his hair is that dirty kind of blonde and his eyes are the bluey green hue of the ocean lapping a mediterranean beach.  He’s kind, caring and handsome, he pouts more than is acceptable for a grown man, throws tantrums of epic proportions and occasionally sweeps you off your feet…

Ok, so he won’t chain you up and spank you, unless you ask him, he never says no.  His idea of exciting transport is a train to North Yorkshire or a journey in his vintage Aston Martin. He’ll do your laundry himself while cooking you dinner and you’ll forgive him for shrinking your favourite cardigan because he’s so adorable. He’ll bring you to balls with his family and think he’s the lucky one for having you on his arm…

In short Abner is a man who might even exist in the known universe, the kind of man who isn’t afraid to show his love and even make an absolute fool of himself to do it…

If you give Fallen a chance, you might grow to love him yourself, like I said, he’s no Christian Grey, but he certainly seems far more attainable…and after Fallen?

Well there’s always Forever


Things to do before I’m Thirty (and clearly too old to do them?!)

So some of this is stupid, some things I refuse to even seriously consider, but its an idea!

1. Go Travelling – I have travelled, but I’m a grown up with a real job, so ‘travelling’ won’t be happening any time soon.
2. Get Something Published – I’m the proud author of two Novels, available for purchase on Amazon Kindle. Makes me published right?
3. Watch the following films: Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction, Scarface, The Star Wars Trilogy (don’t bother with the new ones), Godfather parts I and II, Psycho, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Trainspotting, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Top Gun, American Pie, Gladiator, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Blade Runner, Kill Bill 1 & 2, City of God, The Deer Hunter, Se7en, Fight Club, Back to the Future, Alien and Aliens, Jaws, This Is Spinal Tap, Die Hard, Life of Brian, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day, Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, Life is Beautiful, The Breakfast Club, Grosse Pointe Blank, Stand By Me, Chinatown, The Great Escape, The Outsiders – I think I’ve seen several, its a work in progress
4. Live in London – Fallon lives in London, in my head I’m Fallon, defacto I live in London.
5. Learn a 2nd Language – A good level of secondary school French counts right? Or does my almost fluency in Access VBA count?
6. Run a marathon – Not on your life, I’ve driven part of the Great North Run? I’m a good sprinter?
7. Drive the Pacific Coast Highway – Hmm maybe? 8. Have Sex – What before thirty? No way…hehe 9. Go to a music Festival – Missed Glasto tix by a couple of hours, I’m holding out for Richmond Live 2013. 10. Try different foods – I’m kinda wanting to try an egg, but I’ll get back to you.
11. Get on the property ladder – I’m sort of stuck on the property snake
12. Test yourself: Skydiving, abseiling, bungee jumping – never in a million years, you might think, but there are few better things for you than stepping out of your comfort zone and standing up to your fears. So whatever it is you think you can’t do, we promise you’ll feel proud of yourself after you’ve done it… – I really wanna base jump, it won’t happen
13. Visit Paris – I went as a teenager, I would love to go again before…
14. Blow £500 in one night – Double dip recession and all…I’m scared to spend that in a month, maybe I’ll book a holiday 15. Get a savings account….- I have two, standing orders and everything, balance of around £90.00
16. Do something for charity – You may know her as Catherine, I call her my sponsored child…oh and I direct debit British Red Cross every month!
17. Get yourself on telly – I was once interviewed on TV by William Hague when at primary school, I can be seen in audience of two other TV shows 1
8. Eat at a Michelin starred restaurant – Definitely, who’s paying?
19. Quit your job – Hmm, just maybe
20. Go to a live sporting event – Does Darts on a Wednesday night count?
21. Have a weekend in New York – I’ve had several, its my spiritual home!
22. Read these books: The Catcher in the Rye, 1984, Romeo and Juliet, the Harry Potter series, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Brave New World, On the Road, Catch 22, Trainspotting, The Wasp Factory, Lord of the Flies, Fahrenheit 451, Animal Farm, Of Mice and Men, Great Expectations, Tess of the D’Urbevilles, Treasure Island, The Beach, Cloud Atlas, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Ulysses, For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night time, Life of Pi, The Shining, The Handmaid’s Tale, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Shining, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, A Suitable Boy – As with he movies, I’ll get back to you
23. Own a convertible – Hell yeah, Dads MG is gonna be mine
24. Buy something really expensive: When was the last time you really treated yourself? So long as you can absorb the damage, go crazy and spend at least one month’s wages on something you really, really want – Whoever wrote this has clearly no bills to pay
25. Buy wine worth more than £50 – No way, I don’t like it
26. Sign up to facebook – Ok by virtue that I found this on Google I think its old…I did that like 5 years ago
27. Record your family history – I’m trying, the records in Ireland are bad!
28. Sing Karaoke – I don’t sing Karaoke. I own Karaoke
29. Have a complete health check – No I’m scared of the results lol
30. Climb a mountain – I climb metaphorical ones every single day, but maybe a British one…

Empty Laptop Syndrome

So my laptop isn’t empty, far from it in fact, I might need a new one or some sort of mass storage device, but I have this feeling and I wonder if its the same when a child leaves home?

Today I sent my book off into the world, I tucked in all the letters and words, checked they were neat and tidy, I wrapped them up in a cover and now they are up there for the world to see and it is a difficult thing to do.  To let the thing that has dominated your mind every minute of every day for months, go.

My style may be questionable, I write from my heart, the words come from inside me, I think like the heroine and I love the hero as if he is real, but the words are my own, they represent my thoughts and in some cases, they show people who really know me, how they don’t really know me at all.  I was once told off at college for writing like Roddy Doyle did, using a dash instead of quotation marks for dialogue, so bothered was my teacher by my style and presentation that they  missed the point of my words.  I don’t remember what those words were, but if I put them on paper back then, they meant something to me, I don’t write for the reader, I write for me, the writer, to complete a story, to make up a life, to be myself.

So today I sent my second book out into the world and so far near a thousand people have read the first one, or they bought it, and of all of them, even people I know well, only one has rated me on Amazon, my sister, because I asked her to.

I don’t write to be famous, sure a mansion and movie deal sounds good, but it isn’t why I do it, I don’t know why I do, because I don’t remember the first time I did it, or the first story that was in my head, they have just always been there and now, two of them at least, are out there…

So if you are reading this, if you have read Fallen, I implore you to rate me at Amazon, or Lulu, probably Amazon though, even if the reason you haven’t even given me feedback is because you hated it.  I kind of want to know your opinion anyway…


The day the rains came…

Woke up this morning on my couch, still cowering in fear of the mouse that I saw in my bedroom on Friday morning, got dressed, got my face on, tried to do something with my hair that had been rain soaked and tied in a knot and failed…looked out of the window and got a fright.  The beck that runs through my idyllic street had breached the banks, spread across the even more idyllic Village Green and was slowly making its way towards the road, toward my house. Cue quick call to boss to explain and even quicker removal of all valuables up the stairs and the house was ready for the impending water…

10am, it lapped the road, by lunch hour it lapped the curb, it spread a little, halfway towards the house across the pavement and yet as I type this at almost 7pm it has gone back a bit, the rain has slowed and its looking like its not going to flood after all….

We have been trapped in Brompton since 11am when the road was blocked off and all cars were parked up a hill, theres food, theres heat and theres television, but seriously, I just want to be outside, or somewhere, anywhere else!



A Day in The Life

It couldn’t have come sooner, a day off, not having to attend work, deal with it at all or even really think about it.  In my seven years I’ve learnt a lot, how to do my job and how to hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.  Once Upon a Time I adored it, kind of sprung out of bed in the morning and onwards into my day, we were a happy little team, lunchec the lot, but something and I still don’t know what, happened and now each morning as I lay in bed contemplating throwing my alarm out of the window or pressing snooze, to hell with the consequences of no parking when I roll up, I dread it. 

This morning my dog alarm went off, as it only does on days when the phone One hasn’t been set, she was greeting the two ladies who were insisting on having a pow wow beneath my open window at 7am and their dogs who were also chatting, yet it didn’t matter that I was up before I needed to be, because I could roll out of bed, down the stairs (ok I don’t roll downstairs, that’s dangerous) and while sipping a cup of coffee and eating a bowl of cereal, leisurely Keep up with the Kardashians.  So I did and then I leisurely took a shower, dryed my hair, did my make up and contemplated trying the eyebrow threading bar at Barkers, but it sounds painful so I’ll stick to what I know. At 3pm I’m off to Darlington to sample Primarks Autumn collection of black barmaid attire and maybe, just maybe, a Starbucks…

I could get used to Days Off, so I’d like to offer my services as wife of a very rich man who can keep me in the comfort I have become accustomed to: daily Caffe Nero Lattes, Krave Cereal and Primarks finest wardrobe fillers…