Oh, sorry. No I don’t have the answer, god but I wish I had, lately I’ve found people irritating. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m the one who’s changed and so everyone else who stayed the same is getting on my nerves. I’ll admit that my patience wears thin, like the in seam a pair of Primark leggings on a fat girl at a disco (I can say that. I’m the fat girl) I’m frequently known to shove my tongue below my bottom lip behind people’s backs when they get on my last nerve (nerve also wearing as thin aforementioned leggings) but that is where it stops, ok sometimes I flip the V’s too. Because I am failing as an adult to find the strength within me to say no, or speak my mind, or stand up for myself. I end up flabbergasted, or upset and just hide in a toilet and wait three days then tell someone what’s been said. Its strange, I was such an outgoing person at one point in my life, I told people how it was, protected friends from bullies and said no, but now I’m incapable and its causing me strife.
For instance, I’ve been in my job for eight years next week, I’ve given it everything, been involved in every money-saving, technologically-advancing improvement that’s happened, lots of which were even thought of and created by me. Now I’ve found myself in a rut where I carry people of higher stature and get zero compensation, monetary or gratitudal (yes, not a word, but I like it) It isn’t for want of trying, I’ve asked to be reviewed countless times, even had a meeting with a manager about it, but that was 8 months ago and my new salary came in today, same as last year…The one time I lost my temper and made a case for my boss, I was called a bully for asking. Great. Me, who can’t say no, who doesn’t stand up for themself, is a bully? I think not.
In my personal life its the same, I give great advice, I’m everybodies surrogate sister and for the most part, I enjoy it, until the piss is being taken, liberally. Its not everyone, its some people, the ones who trail you along and disappear when it suits them, the ones who make promises they have no intention of keeping, time and time again.
Its telling that some of the most supportive people in my life are women I met on a facebook group for chick lit writers and some of my friends I’ve known for years, haven’t even read my books…
I wonder, if I can’t figure out the problem with people, do they even realise I am a people myself?